Selamat Hari Raya

Yeup..... Monday is Aidil Adha....

Nothing much to do just sleep amd lepak at home...

A Sleepless Weekend In CyberView Lodge

3 days 2 nights.... weekend.... CyberView Lodge! Tiring....physically, mentally.....

I need some sleep.... and I need to lose some fats on the belly!

The other half is complaining....

...ZZZZZZZ

So sleeepy and Need a break from work!

Singing in The Rain

I got a show tonite.... and I know it will rain later this evening....

So.. it ain't my fault ahh,.......

;-P

7th Day of Eid

It's 6.15am in the morning here and I've just had my breakfast at the cafeteria. It has been such an emotional and spiritual roller coster for me during my stay here. And yet, I m NOT ready to leave this place.... and I m going home in 2 days time. Such a weird feeling when almost 2 weeks ago I was NOT ready to come here....

I attended job interview yesterday and I was asked to submit my CV for further evaluation. It was so unexpected. A very close friend here arranged the meeting with the ORCHID Group CEO cum Owner yesterday and the 15 minutes meeting was rather conversational than interviewing...

It's tough for Malaysians to work here because of the language barrier. But since I can speak and understand Arabic, he gave me the benefit of the doubt.

So I m submitting my resume today and hopefully before I leave on Wednesday, I would be able to meet him again.

Pray for me!

......And My Spiritual Journey Begins...

...I guess I haven't been blogging for awhile now. Nothing much to blog anyway....

Am leaving tommorrow to a 14-day Spiritual Journey, which with much hope and pray that when I come back, I'll be a changed man...I really want to.

Tho I m not well-prepared, I m NOT ready to go.. got mixed feelings about going but I know if I m not "wanted" and "welcomed"... I don't thing all these would be possible. I do believe that HE wants me to be there; for the 2nd time... and this time I want to do it right.

This is definitely a Ramadhan & Hari Raya experience that I could never forget.... ever.

White Coffee Old Town

I received an email asking me to cast for TV commercial.

I was a lil bit curious and skeptical .....but eventually I did go to the casting session at TTDI.

It was weird for me, althought I auditioned for "Cleo's Most Available Bachelor" in 2001...

And so they took some photos of me and recorded me "acting"...over the duration of 20 minutes or so.....nervous!

But I think i didn't make the cut...

Ramadhan....Bulan Puasa

So... Today is the 3rd day of puasa. Tooooooooooooo lazy to work, tooooooooo lazy to do anything in the office.

Nothing to do with me being Puasa and all.... just that Big Boss is not around (yipppppiee..!!) and most of the people in the office is onleave, so it's rather quiet.

Hmmm.... another unproductive day for me today!

%^$^#$%%*&

Yes..!!! It's weekend! Yabedabedoooooooooo

So, what's the plan like? Hmmm....... I kinda miss the Dark Knight movie...haven't got the chance to watch it,.... actually I did but Teletubby was sooooooooooooooo wanting to watch something else.

Next thing I know... it's over! Darn!

But could always get the DVD copy from Uncle in Damansara Uptown. :-P

Weekend is her...!! Yaaaay!

It Is Not Always Bed of Roses

We Plan

We Hope

We Pray

But it's all in God's hand...

Mind Your Language

... I guess that some people refuse to admit that they, in actually fact, purposely try to mislead others and; at the end, manage to put the blame on them.

So...can you be considered as the the villain?

;-)

Freaky Friday

Had a very weird day today.... and I scare the hell out of Teletubby. Now, Teletubby thinks I m creepy.... and said I may not be in his friends' list anymore... yikes! Anyway....

Will try to watch The Dark Night tonite... if I could get any ticket! Or probably tommorrow perhaps.

Ohh... surprisingly..., saw Ferragammo today at Masjid Kg.Baru. Doc.Ferragammo.

P/S: I miss my Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayang! :-D

Condolences

To my Uncle Ah Chan in Kota Belud....

Deepest heartiest condolences goes out to my Uncle and his family on the passing of his child this morning...

From All of us in KL, KK, Likas, Bundu Tuhan and Kota Belud...

A New Chapter

Dear My Heart,

I m writing to you to inform you that the fantasy tale of CareBear has come to its end and a new chapter of Fairytale adventure is being re-written...

The fantasy tale of CareBear was something of every single man like me would always dream of having but it was just a fantasy. That what it merely was....a fantasy.

Being in this position where second chance was given to re-write a tale, which was thought to be long gone, is an opportunity that can never be overlooked and overly thought.. Promised was made, Promised will be made.... and that is inevitable.



My Heart Dearest,

There will be time when regrets weight-in and entice guilt. That's something no one can predict.
So My Heart....Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this.


My Heart...My Soul,

We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,where every sense is heightened, and every emotion is magnified. Our everyday reality is shattered and we are flung into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon but that doesn't diminish its value because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.


My Precious Heart,

This is a new chapter in a fairytale adventure... so write it well and write it with love because life is short, but love lasts forever....

I'll Start This Broken Heart

I'll start this broken heart
I'll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before

Then I'll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that's yet to come
With fingers crossed there will be love

But I get carried away with every day
And every fantasy
The deeper the wound
The harder I swoon and wish that that was me

So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it, you have to get used to it

I'll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They'll never guess what's not inside

I'll express myself with ease
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed they'll talk to me

But I get carried away with every page
In every magazine
The cheaper the thrill
The deeper I fill my head with blasphemy

I'll destroy this useless heart
I'll fuck it up so it'll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone

But I get carried away
With every phrase and made up malady
The longer I hide behind these lies
The more I disintegrate

So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
You never get used to it, you just have to live with it!

.....Another Rejection

I could never understand why do I get the same remarks every single time.

"Anyone would be lucky to have you, anyone would be lucky to be loved by you, anyone would be lucky to hold you..."

3 years ago, the same word was uttered to me, exactly 2 months ago... I get the same comment from my Ex.... and now it's from CareBear.

Did u people come from the same school for HeartBreaker??

Or probably I graduated from the school of Broken Heart..

Mission Accomplished....NOT!

You were standing there waiting for me and I was overly excited & nervous at the same time. You looked absolutely what I hoped you would be but that little smile of yours just send me to the moon! That was my very first (ever) eye to eye (sort of) rendezvous with U, CareBear....

You looked intimidated and at the same time timid but rather quiet.... Probably because I was talking the whole entire time and mocking you..... and i admit I was flirting with you, just a little..

But things can never go your way at times... and this is what has happened to me. I know about it but I just don't want to believe it until I heard and seen it myself. I just do not know how to react and what to say. I don't even have the guts to face you last nite.

This is definitely NOT a rebound..... And my heart is telling me that the feeling is real! It's just happened at the wrong time at the wrong place...but definitely this person is the right one! Really..the right one?????

Even I, myself could not explain that in plain simple english...so please do not ask me how or why?

Today, I m leaving for Kuala Lumpur.... with some things left unanswered. But I guess, some things are better left unsaid....

And I think I've written too much.....

The Alcohol Has Taken Its Toll....

I honestly did not know what really got into me when I reached home this morning from a nite out with a couple of new-found friends... Was it because of D.A.R.T's suggestion of Graveyard!? I bet it was... :-)

Anyway, and so I logged-in to my Yahoo and saw 2 emails from my Ex! I think I may have replied in a very unstable state of mind that my Ex texted me at 7.30am this morning asking where I am..

Argggghhh..... leave me alone laaaa..... Just pay me back the money that U owe....


P/S: Hey D.A.R.T... why are you up so early??

Reality Check!

What did I get myself into?........Not Again Gunta!!!!

I've just realized that if i pursue this and try to win your heart....I think I will get hurt again... and this time, it's not even started yet... I m still not ready to go through another "rejection".. your hands are full and 'sort-of' tied. And I do believe those weren't just "dates".... theoretically speaking, if you are not interested with them, you would not be spending your time with them in so-called "dates".. right? It takes 2 to tango.....

So I m taking a step back.....

Whatever it was......... Thank you CareBear & D.A.R.T..... I haven't had so much fun for quite some time... But somehow or rather... I was not happy (in a way)...Sorry CareBear & D.A.R.T for not being such a good sport or a good company. I was not really myself tonight...

My Ex have had written another 3 very long emails to me today. My Ex is still insisted wanting to see me....

Dear God, PLEASE God... HELP ME!

Home Sweet Home

Suuuuuuuuurprise!!! Am Home..... :-D

Thank you CareBear....

P/S: You are TOO serious.... chill a bit

....sigh!

The Dark Night

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... got a reservation on friday night! Hmmm.....

.....sooooo..., who's my date?

Whipped Cream Also U Dunno One aaaaahhhh....???

A colleague from the office emailed me asking for recipe. .....Huh!?!?!

...."Do u know how to cook Spagetthi Carbonara?"

Ayooo..... this is so easy to do la missy.... Close one eye also can cook one ley....google in the net la. But me, being such a gentleman... :-D so i emailed her the recipe....

...."What's whipped cream?"

Alamak.... which planet did u come from??? Whipped cream also u dunno ahhh??? How like that?

Sigh..BIG ONE!

........LOL!!!!

nothing to blog....

...sigh

Yaummul Sab, Sitta Ashara

I have had a quite good day today.... sang 27 songs! and had a very lovely lunch with F&N.

Bought some pirated DVDs... hehehehe and will indulge the rest of the day by watching movie marathons... probably will go for a swim in between. Just maybe...

Hope to meet CareBear soon.... and go Karaoke! Ohh....Ustad Al-Arqam had also promised me to go to Cempaka with other cousins next weekend. He called me few times today thought I m in KK already.... impatient or what? :-D

Am soooooooooooo looking forward!


P/S: The Ex called my office again.. and texted me recently... yikes!

Whenever.., Wherever..., Whatever...

Lead me on if you must
Take my heart and my love
Take of me all that you must
And if there's a thing that you need
I'd give you the breath that I breathe
And if ever you yearn for the love in me
Whenever Wherever Whatever

Wish I knew if I could
Be the one that you would
Love forever and a day
And if there's a thing that you need
For you and your blood I would bleed
Whenever Wherever Whatever

And if there's a thing that you need
I'd give you the breath that I breathe
And if ever you yearn for the love in me
Whenever Wherever Whatever

You SHOULD Know....

....That I really really really like U alot.

....That I m crazy enough to book a Flight to see U next week.

....That I really really really like U.....(just to emphasize AGAIN!).

...That U did not mislead me (it was ALL me...).

....That I love your text messages.

....That I love your laughs.

....That I love talking and chatting with U.

And I have yet to meet U, so please give me some credits la....I m at the losing end here. You are there and I m here.... you are dating 6 people at the same time now (technically speaking) and I m neither dating nor seeing anyone at the moment......It's only natural to anyone like me to react in such a way.

It Takes 2 to Tango

"Morning..Kiss Kiss. Hug.. Tight Hug!"
"Good Night Sweet Man.....Kiss, Hug"

The text messages I often received these past few days.... But What do you mean?? What was the intention??

Flirting U said....?

Or am I being silly to think it does not really mean anything....or something?

Are U interested? Or are U not sure? Or are U just being nice.... to some stranger like me whom you never met before.

Or was it just because U know how I feel towards U.....????

Or is this too fast for U, or U are not ready?

I shouldn't be asking you all these....

Bank of Qatar

They just called me and offered me a job....in Qatar.

Accept or Not?

Why Does This Thing Always Happen To Me?

...Out of luck? Or just plain stooopid!

I really really seriously think that I m gonna make the same dumb mistake again. But why am I still want to carry on..... ????

Yeah... love... but what is there in Love when u don't get anything in returm....right?

Someone wrote... "If you keep repeating making the same pattern that will only lead to problems - - - that's a BAD HABIT ---and we all know that a bad habit is a HARD HABIT to break...Your life will be tormented by that habit ...forever....!!!.."

What do I have to do now?

Tuesday July 22nd, 2008

...One thing i've learned that it's not just about the physical look..... what comes from within, the inner character that makes every single minute spent with you, It's worthwhile....

At times I feel as if I m exaggerating, full of praise but the more time I devoted myself to you.....learning to know you... the more I was drawn close to you...

Maybe I m gonna make the same mistake again. And I always make the same mistake... ALWAYS! sighhhhhhhhhh....

Is this too soon... too quick... You even have warned me of the consequences. But degil or what me....

Am I trying too hard.... or am I just plain stoooopid!

17th July 2008

I have arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrived!

:-)